Last night was a very preggy night...all those aches and pains and discomforts. It kept me up and my mood down. I started thinking about things that bother me and wonder why I get so wrapped up emotionally in some things and why I still struggle with some sins. Then it dawned on me and I immediately took it to prayer...I harbor a LOT of resentment towards some people close to me who have or had responsibility over me at some point in my life. I didn't blame them for my poor choices in my young adult life. I blamed them for not seeing the danger signs and putting their foot down. I blamed them for being wrapped up in their own selves and not seeing the help I needed. I blamed them for believing my Christian chatter and outward appearance and not seeing the sin I was living in and the darkness of my heart. I resented myself for resenting my past and my poor choices and allowing myself to dwell in self-pity.
I thank the Lord for opening my eyes last night and helping me voice my resentment (it surprised me!) and giving it up the Him. I'm so glad He helped me through this and I was able to ask forgiveness for my resentment and I was able to forgive those I resented. I've kept it all inside and now it's out and I can move forward! I am forgiven. My heart is cleaner still! Praise the Lord!