Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Plastic Elimination Day 3 / Sad Day

Here are some more things I'd like to find to be rid of some plastics in my house:

glass salad dressing bottle
metal fans (there are some nice vintage-style ones out there)
If my basement was dry enough, I'd love to get cedar boxes rather than plastic totes to store baby clothes in

I really need to go through Bubby's toys and throw out the broken ones. This'll also be good in preparation for Christmas and then his birthday. He has such a large family and friends who consider us family that he gets so much!

If hubby gets the new job he's looking at, we're going to get a new computer. I want a laptop. That'll eliminate a large amount of unsightly plastic around the house in the form of a monitor, keyboard and tower.

It's a sad day because it's painfully obvious that breast-feeding is no more (at best, reduced to what little watery milk I can squeeze out by hand). After 3 days of my daughter literally beating my chest with her little fists, pulling and fussing at me, having very few wet diapers and obviously dropping weight, I've given in to formula. I promise, I've tried every trick in the book to keep my milk supply up. It's not so much that I've given up on it, but my daughter has. She refused to nurse any longer. If you just looked into her eyes, they were sad, sunken and weary. I finally gave in and gave her formula. She sucked it right down with amazing enthusiasm and immediately returned to her normal self.

I'm sad because I was really looking forward to nursing her for 6 months to a year.

I'm still going to put her on to nurse every day, but if she refuses after a certain amount of time, I'm going to give her formula. It's not worth it to watch her failing to thrive simply because breast is best. I believe it with all my heart, but for some reason, I'm not able to now.

Formula is expensive. If you have unopened, unexpired cans (no soy-based, please) that you're not using, please consider sending them to me. I'm willing to pay for shipping. Just e-mail me at scottlass at juno dot com. Thanks!


Mimi said...

I'm sorry nursing isn't going well. Hugs and love.

Stephanie said...

Maybe I have some advice that could help you.

When I had my first son I had lots of milk supply issues and I realize now that it was because my milk was not "coming down" like it should and he was just getting watery foremilk most of the time.

Before having my second son I researched and researched the problem and realized that I was not relaxing enough to allow the "let down reflex" to occur. And I had to ask myself "why am I not relaxing during breastfeeding?" and there were many reasons that I had to work through and I worked through them while breastfeeding my second son and eventually learned how to relax while breastfeeding. How to be in the present moment and be natural about it, as natural as breathing.

I have a theory on this, because breastfeeding is not what is the norm in this society even those who DO breastfeed are uncomfortable with it because it isn't considered "normal"...I was like this. The breast is seen overly much as a sexual object instead of utilitarian, as in it feeds babies, so it's just as much a utilitarian body part as is the hands or feet. I had to change my thinking on this....I had watched National Geographic channel many times and had often marvelled at the ease with which tribal mothers, walking around topless, completely comfortable, fed their babies. Nothing abnormal, disgusting or sexual about it...but very beautiful and loving. A society where the young girls were raised seeing this every day of their lives, it's instilled within them as normal and they aren't uncomfortable in any way with it.

I determined that that was where I needed to be and I had to work on my mind and perception of my body and the breast and the act of breastfeeding itself...I noticed that when baby latched on I would automatically tense up and draw my shoulders upward towards my ears and I also noticed that my letdown reflex happened more often when I breastfed half asleep, like during a midnight feeding, being half-asleep meant my inhibitions were lowered and I could relax easier. I realized that I was unnecessarily stressing myself out by overthinking it and always in the back of my mind, because of the sex attached to the breast, I had the sub-conscious thought of it being wrong somehow...I had to work through all this in order to relax enough to allow that reflex to occur.

Now I am not saying AT ALL that you have these same problems, I'm just sharing how even though we do all the practical and physical things we can think of it still might not work if the problem be emotional or psychological. So, it's just something to consider.

Here are some practical tips that always helped me relax enough to allow "let down" to occur:

1. Laying down to breastfeed and laying down topless, without clothes to get in the way. This obviously won't be feasible everytime you feed, but doing it at least once a day...say when Bubby is taking a nap and also at night after Bubby has gone to sleep....could help because we tend to naturally relax when lying down. This is why sleeping with baby is a good idea.

2. When baby latched on I would give a visible out-breathing "ahhhhh" sigh of relief and visibly, overexagerratedly relax my shoulders and my entire body.

3. Focusing on baby, watching baby's mouth on the nipple, stroking baby's hair and soft skin, smelling baby, kiss baby's soft head.

4. Being in the present. Not rushing to get done with the feeding so that I could get back to my "job"...not thinking of all that needs to be done or make to-do lists in my head, but focusing on baby but not in a worrisome "will my milk come down?" kind of way...but in a loving admiring enjoying kind of way.

5. Having a beer or glass of wine would help A LOT in bringing the inhibitions down just enough that I could relax enough to allow let down to occur.

6. PRAY. Praying that my milk come down and that I have plenty of it and then breastfeed with the confidence and faith that God answers prayer...I needed to learn to not fret or worry, that is the opposite of Faith. If worry came, I gave it to God and forgot about it and went forth with confidence knowing that God created my body to do this and do it I will!

7. Learning how to be sexually comfortable with my body, seeing it as beautiful and good instead of with a critical eye no matter what my size may be. I've learned that sex actually has more to do with the let down reflex than most people the same way that an orgasm can't occur if one overthinks it, stresses, worries about it or thinks about something else...the letdown reflex works in much the same way. I find that I have to be VERY in the present and INTO the breastfeeding and my baby, much in the same way that one has to be very in the present with one's spouse and completely comfortable and uninhibited to allow an orgasm to occur. Believe it or not pregnancy, giving birth, and breastfeeding all relate to the sex drive and operate through the same mechanism...and it's all a beautiful, wonderful and very good creation of God!

8. And before you give up completely, at least look into the Le Leche League...they are VERY helpful and knowledgeable :-)

Pinkology said...

I'm very sorry you are having such trouble.
I am an adoptive mother of two, one of which was born just two weeks ago. I've heard of other adoptive mothers who could nurse and so I gave it a try. I pumped for months and drank a mothers nursing tea. I eventually got just a bead of milk from my right breast. Nothing more ever came in and so of course I have to give my newborn formula. I really wish I could breastfeed. My baby latches on quite well but my body just isn't producing anything.
Maybe you could share on your blog what formula you end up using.