Plop down on the couch, look around in discust or despair and wonder angrily why your life isn't the way you want it. I've done that before.
I've been in deep thought these last few days about the vision I have for my life and my home. It's a vision I've had since before I even got married. It's a vision that, in general, has come into existance. I am married and quite happily so, I have children, I have a home and garden, and I am blessed to stay home. For all this I am exceedingly thankful. It's the details of the vision that often don't come to pass: how I want the rooms to look, how I want my gardens to look, how I want my children to behave, how I want to dress, what I want the family to eat, etc.
Then, I realized, "Why can't I have my vision?" I can do it and here's how I'm doing it:
Step One: EVERYTHING in the vision must be under the realm of Christ's Truth. It's no use having a vision of, say, popularity with a string of gossipy girl friends to take up your time.
Step Two: The vision should be realistic. If your vision is to have a colonial mansion on 100 acres with a field full of horses, you're probably being covetous and prideful (thinking you deserve better than what God gave you.)
Step Three: The vision should include the happiness and well-being of your family. If you have a vision to, say, wear dresses only, but your husband thinks that's just too much, honor him and happily and rationally come to a compromise. If your vision includes turning the backyard into a garden retreat full to the hilt with flowers, but your husband wants a putting green, and the kids want a soccer field, put your creativity to work to come up with something everyone can enjoy.
Step Four: Repent of your despair and anger, especially at others. Perhaps you're seething at the kiddos for the toys everywhere. Perhaps you're resentful of hubby because he's never cleaned out the shed he promised would be your potting shed. Perhaps you're angry and blaming a fellow housekeeper or a website because what works for them hasn't worked for you. We think, "Why do they have a perfect life? Why can't I have a perfect life? Maybe they're lying. Maybe something's wrong with them. They're too legalistic, etc." We think, "I'll never have my vision with toys cluttering every corner" or "My hubby would never go for that." (Why not just ask rather than assume?)
Step Five: Repent of any other sins. Laziness, selfishness, procrastination. A lot of things go undone because we get caught up in me-me-me. If someone wants to run a marathon, they don't sit on the couch and watch "American Idol." They get up and get training! Say you have a vision of dressing more femininely. Sure, it's easy to just throw on the same pair of jeans and t-shirt, but why not take just that little extra effort and put on a skirt and blouse instead? Part of your vision may include finally cleaning out that desk, but every day you walk by it and think, "I'll do it another time." It never gets done, does it?
Step Six: Forgive yourself. It's NOT going to be perfect. Your vision isn't going to be like a hollywood movie. You may have to amend it a little now and again. There are days you honestly only have time to throw on that pair of jeans and t-shirt. The point is to be honest with yourself and discern what can be done and what can't be done.
Step Seven: Ask the Lord for Wisdom and discernment. Let's face it...we can't do it alone. Life just doesn't work out on our own. God is there to help us.
Step Eight: Put down that book, turn off the TV and stop surfing the 'net! Depending on how involved your vision is, you're going to need extra time to get things done! Say your vision includes reading to the kiddos every night, but you find yourself throwing them in bed with a hurried prayer so you won't miss a second of "American Idol," then turn off the TV! Don't put down your Bible, though. You're gonna need it!
Step Nine: Lay out your vision and start implementing it. Perhaps write it down in your journal or post it on the fridge. Know what you want to do and do it!
Step Ten: Realize that it is going to take time and adjustment, but don't give up!
So, you're wondering what my vision is? It's hard to explain, as most visions are. My vision is kind of a feeling, but also a lifestyle. I am drawn to simplicity. Not Amish-simplicity, but more of a vintage simplicity...a 1940's style simplicity. Back then women were feminine, but strong. Their homes were neat and company always welcomed. They had victory gardens and still made home-made meals, but there was enough store-bought stuff to make life fairly convenient. That's really just the "review on the back of the DVD case" sort of explanation, but it's the best I can do right now. My alarm just went off alerting me to the need to get my yogurt started.