The Power of Proper Thinking

Fragonard, The Reader

I tend to be what I call an idealist pessimist.  Basically, I would think of some aesthetic ideal that I wish I was, but be very negative and pessimistic because I could never live up to that.  That developed into negative self talk.  

Dawn from The Minimal Mom talks in her videos about how she would berate herself as being a messy person and instead decided to think, "No, I'm a tidy person.  What would a tidy person do?"  I've adopted this method for myself, calling it Proper Thinking.  It isn't negative talk to punish myself, nor is it positive speak that puffs me up.  It is proper thinking that is both realistic and productive. 

For example, I didn't want to go to Church, today.  So, I thought, "I'm a Catholic.  What do Catholics do?  They go to Mass."  Therefore, I went to Mass.  

Another example is when I feel overwhelmed with homeschooling my children.  I think, "I am a working homeschooling mom.  Working homeschooling moms have to simplify and be concise.  They simply cannot spend all the pinterest-worthy homeschool things.  I'm also homeschooling during a pandemic.  No one is getting an optimal education right now!"  

In a nutshell, I think about my role, who I am.  I think about what I view someone like that is or does.   Then, I hold myself to the realistic standard I put on others of similar position and do not expect more of myself.  I wouldn't expect another working homeschooling during a pandemic mom to give her children an Ivy League education.  Why should I expect that of myself? 

I'm a tidy mom.  What do tidy moms do?  They tidy up.

When it's estimate day I don't go in my closet and think, "I'm just a mom who got thrust in the role of businesswoman.  I'll just throw on my comfy clothes."  Instead, I think, "I'm a professional business woman and the face of the business.  I need to dress and look the part."  (This is important because I do believe I lost a contract in part to my looking dowdy and unprofessional at an estimate.  And because I looked so blah, I felt and acted blah and didn't connect well with the client.)

This also extends into self care.  Instead of thinking, "I have so much to do," and trying to push through when I don't feel very well, I think, "I'm a busy mom who did a lot this past week.  I need rest."  And then I go rest.

Thinking properly is wisdom put to practice.  Take care of yourself.