Thursday, August 31, 2006

I'm sorry, but I just have to gripe...

What is it with this trend of calling women "Miss" and their first name? I really dislike being called "Miss Kate." First of all, I am NOT a "Miss" and secondly, Kate is my familiar nickname. I am very proudly Mrs. Scott. Calling me Mrs. Scott does not make me feel old or detached. On the other hand, "Miss Kate" makes me sound like a child and lowered in societal and respectable standards rather than the married mother that I am.

I don't want to be called Miss Kate, nor do I want my children to address adult women in that manner. Which brings up another point; men don't receive that kind of watered down respect. They get addressed properly as Mr. Smith, not Mr. John.

Unfortunately, the three greatest offenders are a close friend, my sister-in-law, and my church. My close friend, I allow her daughter to call me Kate. We've known each other for so long and she's growing into a young lady, so I have no problem with the familiar. But how do I make mention to my sister in law and to my church family that I'd rather be addressed as Mrs. Scott by children and if I'm being reffered to to children? The key here is not appearing aloof, snobby, or asking too much of someone.

Frankly, with my church family, I'd even go so far as allowing my first name. Just please, NOT Miss Kate!!!

9 comments:

Barbara said...

I have to agree! Growing up, I called adults Mr. Smith or Mrs. Smith.

When I had children, it suddenly became popular to teach them to call Miss Barbara. The men were flat out called by their first names, not even Mr. Wayne. Just to clarify this was in the South (NC to be exact and I'm talking 14 years ago). I tried to teach my 2 daughters to call people Mr and Mrs. So-and-So, but they were often corrected and it became futile.

Then we moved to West Virginia. In our current church, it's Mr. and Mrs. :-)

Mrs.B. said...

I agree. The 'Miss_____' tends to be a southern thing.

I was raised to call people by Mr. and Mrs. but I can't tell you how many times I have been corrected by people vehemently declaring that I was 'making them feel old' by using the honorary 'Mr. or Mrs.'.

I, too, disliked the 'Miss_____' name and prefered to be called 'Mrs._____' but everytime I would request it people looked at me like I was crazy!

I'd love to hear what others have to say about this...especially if they have a solution.

Mrs.B. said...

Just wanted to add.....being born and raised in the south I think part of it was to try and add a little bit of respect to someone who is familiar.

And I have also seen 'Mr.(first name)' used as well.

As I said in my comment above I prefer Mr. and Mrs. (o:

a suburban housewife said...

I know for our children, we only allow this when the other person initiates this. For instance, my son once had a Sunday School teacher with a very difficult last name. This person offered for young children to call her "Miss Shelly."

One suggestion: when you introduce yourself to children, say, "I'm Mrs. Scott. What's your name?" More than likely, that child will always remember you as Mrs. Scott. After all, "Scott" isn't a difficult name to pronounce!

Ann said...

I also live in the south and this is common practice. For myself, I have a very, very difficult last name that most adults cannot get right even after they have known me for years. I really don't expect children to be able to say it. So, I don't mind being addressed that way. It just saves me from hearing my name butchered all the time or having to repeat it over and over and them still not getting it right.

Anonymous said...

So you want your sister in lawas kids to call you mrs scott? im confused!!!! i dont see the problem as calling someone by their first name..it is their name afterall!!!

Bethgem said...

They're probably trying to be respectful. My neighbors call me "Miss Beth" to their 17- and 14- year-olds, which just feels really strange since I don't feel that much older than them. "Mrs. MyLastName" would honestly be even weirder to me. But I've heard men called "Mr. First Name", too.

Anonymous said...

I think it would be very strange to tell your sister-in-law to have her children call you Mrs. Scott. These are your nieces and nephews right? Even if they are her children from a previous marriage wouldn't they still be your nieces and nepwhews by marriage? Famiy? How about Aunt Kate? Mrs. anything would be beyond bizarre.

Calla Lilly said...

My gripe: when our daughter does call other parents by Mr. & Mrs. So&So, the parents insist upon being called by their first names because it makes them feel old. Our daughter continues to call them Mr. & Mrs. So&So and smiles.