When Your Home Can't Have the Aesthetic You'd Like

 One thing I love about those fix-up-the-home shows on HGTV is the reveal.  People walk into their completely done and perfectly staged homes.  There's no every day clutter.  There are no scuffs on the trim, dirt on the floor, dust bunnies under the beds, shoes piled up by the door, mail on the counter.  Even the fruit in the bowl is perfect with no flies buzzing around them.  

All the rooms are painted and decorated to aesthetic perfection.  Everything is DONE!

Oh, that feels good!

I would love to be able to move out and have someone come in and redo my home to exactly what I need.  I could walk in every room and breathe and feel relaxed because it is so perfect.  

But, I don't live in HGTV.  I live in reality.  Working class reality with 5 other individuals who don't really give much thought to aesthetics.  That can really get me down, sometimes, when I feel like my house doesn't rest my heart because it is never really fully clean and never really done and never really worthy of Instagram showcasing.  

I think this is a lot of people's reality.  The biggest help I've found is minimizing the extras and keeping the house tidy and clean.  I may be stuck with scuffed, mismatched furniture, but keeping it polished and tidy can help please the eye.  

Another thing I've learned is to be true to the house, itself.  When we first moved into our 1950 cottage we were 18th century living historians and I so wanted my house to feel like a colonial.  Unfortunately, it just didn't work.  I could never get the "feel" right.  Then, I tried the whole 1950s kitsch, but the mismatched scheme felt terrible.  I could isolate myself in the kitschy kitchen and feel like Donna Reed, but then, I'd walk into a quasi-colonial dining room, and my mismatched living room and feel overwhelmed. 

I had to be true to the house.  It isn't a colonial.  And even though it was built in 1950, it isn't mid-mod.  It's a country cottage, and a small one at that.  It is made for minimalism and embraces it.  I have to embrace the container (there's only so much square footage), and the lines, and the flow while working with the reality of my family and their needs and interests.  

A lot of times people embrace a trend without really considering how it works in their space.  I've been in homes with very small post-war living rooms only to see a HUGE sectional eating up the entire space and even blocking traffic flow. Opposite the sectional is a gigantic TV much too big for the room.   I learned pretty quickly that just because it looks great in a magazine doesn't mean I can replicate it successfully in my own home.  Or just because it's the latest trend doesn't mean it belongs in my home.  

Find out what pleases your eye in your space.  I was watching a youtuber who suggested grouping things in groups of 3, as that has some sort of psychological benefit for us.  However, I'm more of an even number person.  I like balance.  

Start with a blank slate.  Let your surfaces be clear for a while.  Check the lines of sight from various angles.  Consider the light throughout the day.  Work around what you need as a family and not so much around the party you'd like to plan some day or the guests who might visit.  If your living room can only handle a small couch and a couple of chairs, don't try to squeeze in a love seat to accomodate your maybe someday guests.  If you only have cabinet space for 6 place settings, don't stack in a set of 12 in case you host Thanksgiving in 5 years.  

The last thing to consider is the reality of your time and energy.  How much can you manage?  I know people whose homes are delightfully cluttered with antiques and collections, but everything has a home and it's all spotless.  They don't mind investing their time in the upkeep.  But, I've also been in homes where their collections and decor are neglected and piled, dusty and overwhelming because it is too much for them to handle.