What My Daughter Taught Me About Minimalism

My little girl is not quite a teen, yet. She is wonderfully artistic, and as her brain swarms with creative energy, she has little room left for mundane maintanance. To put it not so nicely, she's messy. Like, she could be on one of those reality TV shows where someone comes in to clean and can't even see the floor. In the past, it was a gigantic battle between us. The answer was drill sergant barked orders and taking away her favorite things, right? Right?!! A friend of mine was the first to calmly tell me that this was just my daughter. She has a son who is similar, and what he needs to function well and keep up his room is similicity and minimalism. I bucked at the idea. After all, I grew up with lack compared to my more privileged peers, and I wanted my daughter to have all the things I didn't. That's not reality, though. That's unhealthy projection. A big lightbulb moment was when I discovered that my daughter simply doesn't care about having "all the things." She is quite content with a few favorites. When I finally gave her permission to say no, I was shocked at how often she said no to things! My daughter cannot handle as much inventory as the average little girl. Organization is overwhelming. Storage is largely out of sight - out of mind. Systems don't work unless they are her system. For example, I gave up on having her use an organized dresser for her clothes. Instead, I gave her shelves and baskets. She can easily throw her clothes into the baskets and not be completely overwhelmed with the task of putting them away. Even this system isn't foolproof. She'd honestly do best with a capsule wardrobe and one basket. However, she soils clothes faster than I can wash them, being an artist and nature girl, so she had a decent sized wardrobe. She also needs help. And what used to be a warzone between us is now time together. Every 2 to 4 weeks, I go in her room and clean it with her. We chat and talk about her pictures she drew, and about what is working and what isn't. We talk about inventory and minimalism. She's growing so quickly. I purchased her the autumn footwear she wanted and while at the store, I asked about winter footwear. She looked stressed and couldn't answer me. In the past I would have gotten upset because "we need to prepare!!" Now, I know that it's ok. It's too soon. She's still in flip flops right now and winter seems so far away to her. She doesn't need to inventory boots, yet. As the cold season becomes more real, she'll know what she wants, and we can go find it. While I can handle a much larger inventory than she can, I have learned from her. She is able to devote so much of herself to her artwork and personal joy because she can not care about stuff. Her life is simple and happy because stuff matters little. She can manage her space better when it is minimized. She can manage her time better when chores don't pile up. She can clean better without clutter overwhelming her. All that is true for me, too!