The Cottage on the Hill

My mother, an avid reader, recently told me that she aims to read 100 books a year.  I can't come close to that, but I admired her goal, and celebrated her success in reading 100 books in 2019!!  It has inspired me to read more, myself, and set a 2020 goal of reading.  I'm going to try for 50 books (but that includes audiobooks).  I have a list started in my sidebar of the books I've read in 2020.

Instant gratification on social media has hindered my prayer life.  It appalls me what I allow myself to gripe about on Facebook.  I'm also a judgmental person.  I don't mean to be, but those judgmental thoughts pop into my head.  It's easy to blame, to point, to dismiss, to complain, to worry.  If I spend my time in prayer, there won't be room for the negativity.

When you've grown up and lived in the polar regions, you tend to see things in only black and white. Experience has taught me that solutions come more with moderation than with polarization. A lot of the problems we find ourselves polarized on in the USA, today, are hashed out in black and white, with no solution at the root.  We hyper-focus on hot-button topics and ignore the solvable issues.  For example, abortion isn't the disease.  It's the symptom.  Yet, we polarize the symptom.   Red-herring and hot-button politics aside, my goal in 2020 is to be a more moderate person and to stop seeing things so polarized in my day-to-day life. I do believe I will much more easily be able to solve problems and reduce stress by ceasing my all-or-nothing, black-or-white stand on things. Polarization has done nothing for me but create battles and unsolved problems.

I'm going to admit something.  I have spent a good portion of my life martyring myself to joyless living, as if enjoying the life God gave me was somehow vanity and sin.  Couple that with a lot of struggles over the past decade, and some wonky thought patterns in my young adulthood, and joy has not been something I've been able to obtain. It baffled me that others had such joy in life while I struggled.  I don't mean just being happy and entertained.  I mean real joy.  The kind of joy that bears fruit and benefits others in healthy ways. "Holy before Happy" is a common mantra among many in Christendom.  In my feeble pursuit of holy, I lost happy. I decided something as I observed others and mulled over my thoughts.  God placed me here.  God gave me a life and I now believe that He wants us to live our lives well here on earth.  He wants us to create, to grow, to cultivate, to nurture, to experiment, to discover, to help, to entertai...

Life changes. What was once ideal becomes unreal. For most of 18 years I have been a stay-at-home wife and mother.  This suited me because I've always struggled with my health. However, years of living on a single income with a decade of emergency after emergency racking up our debt has taken its toll.  Frankly, we're sick of the financial struggle.  The stress of financial burdens and worries is sickening in and of itself. But, I need to be healthy to return to the workforce. But, I also think that returning to the workforce will be good for my health. Thankfully, after decades of research, I've figured out the main health issues: Low Serotonin Chronic Inflammation Food intolerances Gut health/Brain health stuff. Simple diet, exercise, and supplementation solves it. I'm ready! I'm ready to work!

I'm going to give grace. I'm going to give grace to myself and stop beating myself up about things. I'm going to give grace to my family, knowing we are all imperfect, make mistakes, have emotions, and ultimately need to love and support each other.  It isn't my job to make them perfect. I'm going to give grace to people, not knowing their full stories and reasons behind their bad days, sour attitudes, or snippy remarks.  When you try to protect yourself with barbed wire, you too will get caught in it.

This year, I plan to practice my faith in freedom.  I have been fighting the boxes others want to put me in.  There's a lot of pressure to conform one way or another.  But, this is my journey with Christ.  This is my path.  While that can be used as an excuse to live however one pleases, that's not at all my intention.  My intention is to love my faith, enjoy my faith, practice my faith in a way that is fruitful.  It is going to ruffle feathers, but I'd much rather have joy in my faith walk than miserably slog along through someone else's determination of how my faith walk should look.

My energy goal is two-fold:  I want to pursue being energetic, and I want to be a positive energy. Having chronic low-serotonin, I am prone to not only having little energy, but being a Negative Nelly, too.  It not only affects me in my personal bubble, but it has a profound affect on my family and my life outside the home.  The lack of energy makes interactions overwhelming for me, and the negative energy puts people off.  I give off a "leave me alone" sort of vibe.  I know I do. Thankfully, now that I know I have chronically low serotonin, I can easily treat it, and hopefully those days of slump will be fewer and further between, and I can be a better human being not only for myself, but for my family and those around me.

Have you ever floundered over things because you find them overwhelming and are unsure of which path to take? This goal piggy-backs on yesterday's goal.  Because I was previously so set in my thought patterns and views, I often found (find) myself frozen or struggling with tasks and decisions.  It has not only hurt me, but hurt my family. With my new-found corrections of erroneous thoughts and embracing the reality in which I live, I can apply dedication to my life and towards those around me. Here's an example: My children struggle in school.  They are not academics.  Smart, but not adept at the requirements of common core curricula.  Usually what happens (and has happened) is I start playing those tapes and gathering my us vs. them arguments.  Instead, I need to look at reality and work with what I have.  Reality is that I cannot homeschool all of them right now.  Reality is that they do have a good school with great teachers.  ...

What we are taught and how we live growing up certainly develops how we think and filter things.  Over time, that can morph into what many call "the tapes we play" in our heads.  There's also our worldviews which may be comfortable around our peers, but be challenged by outside influences and experiences. Very much has changed for me in my 30's.  I thought I had it comfortably figured out, but I have been challenged on many fronts.  Ultimately, my goal is to see the reality set before me and not rely heavily on my fanciful preferences and past narratives. I can see my future life being quite different, perhaps even unrecognizable from my past because life is different.

In the 1994 version of Little Women , Jo discusses philosophy with Prof. Bhaer.  She says to him, "It's just that with all of this transcendence comes much emphasis on perfecting oneself......I'm hopelessly flawed." I've always loved that line because it felt familiar to me.  I related to it.  I'm a hopelessly flawed perfectionist. Yet, I'm always striving to be better, do better.  I'm always examining myself, mulling around philosophies and observed and practiced experiences seeking to be a better person....and failing or faltering at it most of the time.  Yet, I can't give it up.  I am not discouraged because aren't we all "hopelessly flawed?"

2019 was a year of achievements through unexpected challenges.  This year, I want achievements that are planned.  My focus is on family well-being, home improvements, and debt reduction.  I also have a silly little creative dream I'd like to tap into.  It isn't high on my priority list, but I'll keep it simmering on the back burner, for now.  I may have to expend my energy on things more pressing and lucrative, but if time permits, it would be great to achieve that creative goal.

Happy New Year!! I love the turn of the New Year!  I love resolutions, goals, inspirations, and ideas for the coming year, even if they do fall to the wayside and old habits die hard.  I don't care!  I still love the whole idea! For 2020, I have found two very unlikely inspirations.  I never thought these people would inspire me to be a better person.  Usually, we look to religious or charitable figures to improve upon our character.  It isn't likely that a top business woman in the fashion and journalism world, and a "sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll" legend would inspire a simple, conservative, traditional middle-aged woman, but they do! Anna Wintour Just last week, I watched two videos on YouTube featuring Anna Wintour, editor-in-chief of Vogue Magazine.  The first was a rapid-fire 73 questions posed to her.  She never said "ummm" once.  She was assured and confident, poised and well-spoken in all her answers.  She didn't spe...

She doesn't need defending. And certainly not from me, a total stranger on the internet... But.... I wasn't feeling well the other day and I was passing time watching her vids, checking out Instagram, and eventually went down the social media comments rabbit hole. The comments!  The assumptions!  The vitriol! It's appalling and laughable at the same time. So, let's get started: 1.  Doomsday Cult:  Just, nope.  Yes, they are young earth creationists.  Many mainstream evangelicals are.  Yes, they believe in the rapture, and that it will happen soon.  Many mainstream Christians do.  That doesn't make them a cult.  Paul's interest and activity in the End Times is a bit intense, sure, but from what I have read, their belief system is very much like several mainstream evangelical denominations.  Not a cult. 2.  Quiverfull:  Another nope.  Taina just wanted 10 kids.  She doesn't hold some "you must do" religious ...

I crave empty spaces. My house was jam-packed last year. Every surface, every drawer, every shelf, cabinet, closet, and hanging rack were full. In order to leave some room on the floor, I went vertical with storage. Rooms felt closed in and like they couldn't breathe. The basement was pretty much just paths along walls of storage totes, and it always felt damp and smelled icky down there because there was no airflow and so many dark little spaces for mildew to grow and mice to build nests. And I would just acquire more to hold it all. I couldn't take it, anymore. I couldn't find anything anymore. Now, I want to see an empty drawer, an empty shelf, an empty corner, an empty wall. I'm getting there.

Usually, minimalists and minimizers (people who reduce their possessions, but aren't necessarily minimalists) discourage the use of storage units.  It seems counter-productive to the whole concept of minimizing. I offer a different perspective. Especially for those who have larger families in a smaller home, and/or for those who have a spouse who isn't very keen on getting rid of stuff. Invest in a storage unit! Whether it is a shed in the backyard or an actual rented unit, it is worth the investment. Why? Because the more you keep out of your home, the better. Better health Better organization Better cleaning For example, I keep the bulk of my kids' toys in the shed.  If they want to play blocks they have to pack up the toy soldiers.  Then, I move the tote of soldiers to the shed and bring the blocks in the house.  This not only clears up space, but prevents my kids from dumping and mixing toys into a huge mess.  Remember, if they can't clean it, the...

My house was stuffed, people. Seriously, dangerously, annoyingly stuffed. I'm not a hoarder, I promise. We just have a small house, lots of people living in it, and many different interests and hobbies. It's also part of the mindsets I grew up with; an ugly mix of 80's and 90's materialism/consumerism, and growing up near the poverty line, so everything was acquired and kept "just in case." But, I couldn't do it anymore. My home became my prison. My stuff became my prison warden. In comes the minimalist fad and I am jumping on. Ok, I'm not going to become a true minimalist.  That's just impossible with this family and my current situation.  But I can, and I have, and I am minimizing. Here's why: 1.  No time:  All I do is clean and organize.  I live in a small home.  It should be easy to clean, but it isn't.  Just too much stuff to clean around. 2.  No place:  Everything should have a home, right?  A place to b...

As someone with not only an uncommon name, but an uncommon pronunciation of that name, I thought it would help people to have a little guide on what to do when they encounter someone with an unusual name.  Whether it is at work, school, volunteering, church, or though friends and family, we may meet someone or see on paper or screen a name that we are unsure of how to say. Here are some things NOT to do: 1.  Do not ignore their name.  (My name isn't, "hey.") 2.  Do not give them a nickname.  (I had a teacher refuse to learn my name and simply dubbed me "Student X." 3. Do not give them attitude if they correct your pronunciation.  (I had a school administrator rudely tell me, "whatever," when I corrected their pronunciation of my name.) 4.  Do not make fun of their name. 5. Do not question why they were named that (except in honest, interested inquiry.) 6. It's ok to repeat their name a few times if you are trying to remember it, but don...

When you have a larger than average family and a smaller than average grocery budget it can be a challenge to keep your family in food, toiletries, and household products.   My current budget is $120 a week for a family of 6, and this includes food, toiletries, and household products, but also keeps in mind certain preferences.  If hubby's the one who work so hard to provide the least I can do is keep him in his favorite cookies and beverages when he requests them. I have a lot of tips for eating on the cheap (and healthy, too) and keeping the toiletry and household product spending low, but for this blog post, I'm going to share the easiest and least lifestyle-changing tips.  And these tips are for those in the Continental USA. 1.  Join Krazy Koupon Lady!  You can find her at www.krazycouponlady.com or download her app.  Serioulsy, this is where I find my greatest deals matching coupons and rebates.  I get stuff for free.  I even get paid to buy...

One of my biggest difficulties and stress-makers in my life is that when I believe something or decide something, I feel like I need to convince everyone of my standing and get them on my side. Knowing that others oppose me or have formed negative opinions of my beliefs or decisions hurts me very much. I begin to doubt myself. Question myself. And, yes, even wonder if I am loved. One thing that motherhood has taught me for sure, especially motherhood in this social media age, is that we MUST have ASSURANCE! I used to waste hours arguing with people online.  Surely, if they would just read my words they would know that I am right and stop name-calling and pointing fingers. I lost countless nights of sleep. NO MORE! Being a grown woman of God, a woman of maturity, a mother of growing minds and bodies, we absolutely must have assurance. We must put on our big girl britches and own our choices, decisions, and beliefs. As Christians, we gain wisdom from reading th...