The Homeschool-Resistant Child

Homeschooling doesn't work out for every child.

So, what's a parent to do now that they are forced to homeschool?

I wanted to homeschool all my children from the start, and at first I did.  It went very well with my oldest child.  It was a nightmare with my 2nd.  By what should have been 3rd grade, she was still at pre-K to Kindergarten level in math, reading, and writing.  I decided to enroll her in public school because she need help.  I had her evaluated and the tests came back that she didn't qualify as having a true learning disability.  Their words were, "she's not bad enough" and "she doesn't fall within the state parameters" (of having a disability/needing an IEP).  Thankfully, her public school 3rd grade teacher was very understanding and superbly supportive.  Despite being in 3rd grade, she met my daughter where she was at academically, and for 2 years (I had her repeat 3rd grade), this phenomenal teacher got her pretty much up to grade level.  My illiterate at 8 years old daughter was now reading....and reading and reading!  

Where I had continued trouble with her was homework, and thus was the key that unlocked the mystery of why homeschooling didn't work out.  My daughter is a focused, specific box kind of person.  Home was home.  School was school. She thrives in distinct areas and focuses.  Homeschooling her disrupted her "home is home" inner narrative.  My being a teacher disrupted her "mom is mom" inner narrative.  

(Now that she is older she is much more understanding and self-governing so she can more easily transition from home to school and mom to teacher, though home does offer her many distractions and makes it harder for her to focus on her work.)

So, what can a parent do with a homeschool-resistant child during this time? 

Be Patient

Be Firm

Be Understanding

Be Involved

Be patient with your child.  Make sure they have creative outlets.  Let them work at their own pace.  Don't pile too much work on them.  They don't need to do 20 math problems when 10 or even 5 will do.

Be firm with them.  Establish healthy boundaries of time, routine, and space for them so they have that "this is home, but this is school" transition.  

Be Understanding that this lack of distinct space and transition can be the reason they are resistant.  School is encroaching on the comfort and security of home.  It is a foreign invader.  Again, having a routine and a space can help them more comfortably transition. 

Being involved is key.  Home is often too distracting.  Your child may need you to work alongside them.  If they are reading silently, be reading your own book with them.  If you want to do math with them, you may need to do something kinetic, like using blocks or coins or dice with them.  If you're writing something, write something together.  Try to turn play into learning.  Hopscotch to skip-count.  Randomly shout out words for them to spell and they give you a word to spell in return.  Watch a documentary together.  Just talk about things.  Ask questions, look things up together.

Don't put too much pressure on your student or on yourself.  Just get creative and keep it low-key.

You got this!